Tips to protect your heart on Mother’s Day weekend
Mother’s Day weekend can be really difficult for people who are grieving. Whether your mom or mother-in-law has died, you have a complicated relationship with your mom, your child has died, or you/your partner long to be a parent and your time hasn’t come yet, whatever the case may be, your feelings are valid.
Below are some tips to protect your heart during Mother’s Day weekend:
Stay off (or limit) social media: easier said than done but try to allow yourself to unplug. Seeing others post about their moms or their growing families can be hard! Why subject yourself to that?
Opt-out: our inboxes are flooded with “Mother’s Day Gift Guides” or discount codes. A lot of companies actually allow subscribers to opt out of their Mother’s Day and Father’s Day emails.
Create a new tradition: sometimes continuing traditions can be too difficult without the person you’re deeply missing. Try something new! Think about what they loved or what would make you feel most connected to them.
Some ideas:
Set aside 5 minutes of your day to look at photos of them
Get out in nature
Write them a letter
Pay it forward in memory of your loved one
ex: buy the person in front of you their coffee
Send a message to someone who has helped your through your grieving process, or someone who acts as a mother figure to you.
Tell someone a story about your loved one
No matter how big or small it may seem, it counts! It’s an act of service to yourself.
Lean into the old: Maybe it feels really good to continue the traditions you had with your loved one- that’s okay too! Stick with what you know and what feels right.
Allow yourself to be supported: it may be hard to muster the energy to do this, but if you can, try to advocate for yourself with your loved ones and support system.
Examples:
“This day is really hard for me, I think I’m going to hang back. You guys have fun!”
“I’m not feeling up for brunch today, thank you for the invite. I just need some alone time.”
“I think this weekend is going to be pretty rough. Would you mind sending me a check-in text on Saturday and Sunday mornings?”
“I don’t feel like my best self today. I could really use your help with X.”
“I’m going to come to the BBQ, but I would prefer if we didn’t talk about X”
Set up an appointment at Indigo: we’re here to support you with acupuncture, energy healing, and massage.
Permission to grieve: if none of this feels good to you, that’s okay too! Give yourself permission to grieve. Take the day. Feel your feelings. Stay home. Snuggle up even if the sun is shining. And know that this day is 24 hours long, just like the rest of them.
Books to read:
Grief is Love: Marisa Renee Lee. @marisareneelee on insta.
Motherless Daughters & The After Grief: Hope Edelman. Hope_edelman on insta.
If You Really Knew Me: A memoir of Miscarriage and Motherhood: Mary Purdie. @drawnbymary on insta.